Toronto woman with restraining order says police were 'too busy' to help when she tried to report a breach

For Seojin Kim, going to the courts to get a restraining bid felt similar the lone enactment aft she broke up with her erstwhile partner. 

Despite asking him to halt contacting her and blocking him, she says the calls, emails and texts were relentless — 450 missed calls, 11 voicemails and 500 emails in astir six weeks. When she blocked his numbers, she says he'd telephone from a antithetic line, and erstwhile she blocked his email, helium created alternate addresses. 

She says helium loitered extracurricular her location and enactment waiting for her, and adjacent showed up astatine her workplace once, "pretending to beryllium a customer."

"I was feeling unsafe and benignant of frightened astir each clip I had to spell outside," Kim told CBC Toronto.

But adjacent aft an Ontario Superior Court Justice granted the 28-year-old a protective bid connected Feb. 21, 2025 that barred her ex from contacting her oregon being wrong 500 metres of her location oregon work, she says it was a conflict to get Toronto constabulary to enforce it.

Her ex allegedly breached the order, reaching retired to a person of hers to marque contact, past erstwhile again emailing her and sending her aggregate e-transfers truthful that helium could connect a message. CBC Toronto has reviewed dozens of these emails and messages.

When she archetypal brought the protective bid and extended grounds of the breaches to Toronto police's 51 Division connected April 12, she said nary serviceman would adjacent look astatine it — with 1 telling her, "we are excessively engaged close now."

While her ex was yet arrested, Kim says she doesn't recognize wherefore it took repeated attempts to enforce her restraining order.

"It doesn't marque sense, they person to support me; it's their duty. That's wherefore we got a restraining order," said Kim. "If they don't bash anything, past what's the constituent of a restraining order?"

Filing the report

Kim, a Korean migrant who moved to Toronto successful 2023, says she felt dismissed aft the archetypal visit.

"They told maine I had 2 options: beryllium and hold for respective hours – with nary warrant I'd really get to talk – oregon telephone the non-emergency line," Kim said.

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When she did telephone the non-emergency enactment the adjacent day, she says she was told to spell to the presumption connected her time disconnected and wait. She past made a 2nd sojourn to 51 Division connected April 21 — her adjacent time disconnected —  bringing with her a autochthonal English speaker, astatine which constituent she says an researcher agreed to record a report.

Toronto constabulary confirmed Kim's ex was arrested the adjacent day, connected April 22, and charged with a harassment offence and for disobeying a lawful tribunal order.

Some advocates accidental it's not the archetypal clip they've heard of a breach similar this not taken earnestly by instrumentality enforcement.

"My rightful, justified choler is that I don't cognize what it's going to instrumentality earlier radical commencement paying attraction to this," said Nneka MacGregor, enforcement manager of the Women's Centre for Social Justice. 

"I don't cognize what constabulary are waiting for," she said.

MacGregor says constabulary crossed the state person grooming successful areas, specified arsenic intimate spouse violence, but alleged incidents similar these are a reminder they're not ever enactment into practice. 

She says she worries interactions similar these volition person a chilling effect connected women — galore of whom already conflict to study incidents to instrumentality enforcement.

"If women are seeing that constabulary are not responding, responding with urgency and with care, they're not going to report," MacGregor said.

Police accidental 'no 1 should beryllium turned away'

While Toronto constabulary told CBC Toronto they couldn't talk to the specifics of what happened during Kim's archetypal visit, a spokesperson said the substance is presently being investigated and constabulary are "taking these concerns seriously." 

"We volition instrumentality steps to guarantee that each beforehand table unit are afloat alert of their obligations and the captious value of responding appropriately to those seeking assistance," said spokesperson Stephanie Sayer.

Sayer's connection says successful portion that erstwhile idiosyncratic comes to a part to study a crime, the clip it takes to talk with an serviceman whitethorn alteration depending connected telephone measurement and operational demands.

But "no 1 should beryllium turned away," she said, and determination are protocols successful spot for cases of intimate spouse violence, which impact speaking straight to an serviceman and notifying Youth and Family Services. 

Protective orders could usage much 'teeth,' lawyer says

Meanwhile, a Toronto ineligible session says determination are galore ways successful which protective orders tin beryllium improved.

Kim's enactment with constabulary is "troubling" and highlights the request for systemic changes, says Deepa Mattoo, enforcement manager and lawyer with the Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic.

"Restraining orders are different conscionable a portion of insubstantial if determination is nary travel up imaginable successful these situations," said Mattoo.

"We want a betterment successful the system, a alteration successful the strategy wherever restraining orders tin really person immoderate amended teeth."

In 2023, the Law Commission of Ontario, an autarkic radical that looks astatine ineligible reform, began a task reviewing protective orders successful the state – including however they're enforced – pursuing the proposal of the Barbra Schlifer clinic.

"When constabulary are not efficaciously enforcing extortion orders, it really means that abusers are much empowered to support breaching those orders," said Laura Snowdon, the lawyer starring the commission's review.

Not lone bash women person to leap done important procedural and evidentiary hurdles to adjacent get a extortion order, Snowdon says, but successful cases wherever they are granted one, the rates of non-compliance are highly high.

She says the committee is besides seeing cases wherever breaches that impact carnal unit are treated otherwise than cases wherever determination isn't carnal violence.

"There seems to beryllium a spot of a disconnect betwixt what the intent of extortion orders is, and a spot of a misunderstanding of the information that extortion orders are successful spot to halt unit from escalating to the constituent of an battle oregon different signifier of much superior violence," said Snowdon. 

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As for Kim, she says she's sharing her communicative due to the fact that she wants different women, who whitethorn beryllium susceptible and successful akin situations, to proceed to talk up until they get the assistance they need.

"If there's idiosyncratic who hesitates to report, I would conscionable accidental – bash it for your safety," Kim said.