My family lived in a hotel for a year. I wish people understood homelessness isn't a choice

Terri Singer · for CBC First Person

· Posted: May 31, 2025 4:00 AM EDT | Last Updated: 10 minutes ago

This First Person file is the acquisition of Terri Singer, who lives successful Halifax. For much accusation astir CBC's First Person stories, delight see the FAQ. 

There was a clip not truthful precise agelong agone erstwhile we were conscionable your mean Canadian family. A mom, a dad, 3 children. We rented a four-bedroom location successful the cozy small municipality of Truro, N.S. We lived successful that location for implicit 4 years and had a fantastic assemblage of household and friends surviving nearby.

I worked arsenic a income and events co-ordinator astatine a hotel. It was a occupation I loved and I looked guardant to seeing my clients and colleagues each day. My hubby had been a cook, but was fto spell from his occupation and was seeking intelligence wellness enactment with endless waitlists. We had been trying to prevention for a down outgo connected a home, but that became intolerable connected my azygous income.

When we received our eviction announcement successful August 2023, my humor ran cold. I couldn't breathe. Our landlord had sold the spot and the caller proprietor intended to unrecorded successful the space. As a result, successful 2 abbreviated months, our location would nary longer beryllium ours. 

Two months is not astir agelong capable to find a location during a lodging crisis. Rental prices for listings often exceeded my income by astatine slightest $300 each period and galore landlords were hesitant to rent to us, fixed that we had children and pets. 

Eviction time felt similar a cruel joke

Eventually, our clip ran out. Our eviction time felt similar a cruel joke. As we packed up our home, the acold finality washed implicit america arsenic we remembered the years of memories we were leaving behind: our children's archetypal words, archetypal days of school, excited Christmas mornings and Easter ovum hunts and truthful overmuch more, ne'er to beryllium enjoyed successful this abstraction again. The laughter and joyousness that erstwhile filled each country were present replaced with the uncertainty of the aboriginal looming implicit america similar a shadow. None of america could judge we were present homeless. 

We moved into a edifice that October. Imagine a household of 5 surviving retired of 1 chamber with 2 queen-sized beds, a 55-inch astute TV, a microwave, a mini fridge and a coffeemaker. We kept telling our children we would find thing "soon," but each time it felt much and much similar a lie. 

Two weeks aft we became homeless, my five-year-old lad broke down crying. 

"I conscionable privation a existent location again," helium told maine with tears flooding his face. It broke my heart. We were doing perfectly everything successful our powerfulness to springiness him and his siblings conscionable that — a basal quality close — and it felt intolerable to do.

Our market measure astir tripled instantly. Without a kitchen, we couldn't marque nutrient easy and had to bargain much costly ready-made meals. There comes a constituent erstwhile adjacent the astir basal of meals, similar crockery oregon ramen noodles, suffer their appeal.

After 4 months of surviving successful a edifice room, we made the hard determination to relocate to Halifax, wherever we hoped we would find much resources, and moved successful temporarily with extended household who offered to help. I had to marque the heartbreaking determination to permission the occupation and colleagues I loved due to the fact that I could not commute from Halifax to Truro. 

Living with household wasn't a semipermanent solution, and we often felt we were successful the mode of another's household space. So my hubby and I frantically continued searching for a home. Twenty unanswered emails rapidly go 200. There were truthful fewer rentals disposable and prices were acold supra what they had been earlier the pandemic. 

We called shelters regular until finally, we were provided a edifice country done a declaration held by a structure diversion programme — genuinely a redeeming grace. We had a azygous country again, and immoderate semblance of privacy, if not dignity and respect.

A edifice country is not a home

Even though we were grateful for the stability, a edifice country is not a home. It felt similar a gilded situation of sorts, wherever we could spot others travel and go, knowing they had a location to instrumentality to. Eventually, the accent took a terrible toll connected my intelligence health, starring to a breakdown that required maine to spell connected disability. 

The nonaccomplishment of our home, past my occupation and the compounded accent of our concern became excessively overmuch to bear. There were galore nights we would soothe the tears of our children, who felt shame and embarrassment astir our situation, and we felt helpless to support them from the stigma and judgement we each faced, simply from being stateless done nary responsibility of our own. 

Facing homelessness besides meant confronting societal stigma. We felt judged and looked down upon arsenic if our homelessness was a effect of idiosyncratic nonaccomplishment alternatively than a systemic issue. 

Luckily for us, determination was hope. After astir a twelvemonth successful the hotel, we were offered the accidental to determination into supportive lodging successful January 2025. We person a four-bedroom apartment, allowing each of my 3 children privateness and stability, without feeling boxed in. They person abstraction to roam, to play, to beryllium kids. 

When we moved in, I fto spell of a enactment I didn't cognize I was holding. 

The quality successful my children since we moved successful has been nighttime and day. They person begun to thrive with the freedom, escaped from the shame and embarrassment of existent homelessness. They nary longer person to fell that they unrecorded successful a edifice and each the questions that travel with having a edifice for a location address. They person a spot that feels similar home. 

Reflecting connected our journey, I've travel to recognize the value of empathy and understanding. Housing is simply a quality right, yet galore are inactive without it. Homelessness is not a choice. You could bash everything close and inactive person the rug pulled retired from nether you. 

While I inactive spot and consciousness the effects of the trauma we each faced, I cognize that each time we volition regain immoderate of the anticipation we had lost. We are lucky; we ne'er had to slumber extracurricular and brave the sub-zero temperatures of a Canadian winter. We person the abstraction to respire again.  

WATCH | When landlords person a 'no kids' policy:

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