I have MAGA-in-laws. Despite our political differences, I adore them

Jordan Kawchuk · for CBC First Person

· Posted: Apr 12, 2025 4:00 AM EDT | Last Updated: 9 minutes ago

This First Person file is written by Jordan Kawchuk, who lives successful Duncan, B.C. For much accusation astir First Person stories, spot the FAQ.

In 2015, my then-girlfriend and I took our archetypal travel together, driving from Vancouver to conscionable her parents astatine their acreage extracurricular Oregon City.

The travel down was charmingly American. We drove past maize canine huts, region fairs, brash billboards and colourful Mexican restaurants, and we ate state presumption candy bars and drank sodas.

As we reached the driveway of her parent's agrarian home, I saw them for the archetypal time. I don't mean her ma and dad. I mean the Trump flags flying from the beams of their different welcoming state house. Those flags someway seemed much expensive, dominant and unsettling than the flimsy tract signs that travel retired during Canada's elections.

Stephanie turned to maine and said, "You mightiness not privation to day maine aft this play and I don't blasted you."

But emotion doesn't attraction for politics, and truthful we pushed forward. I didn't conscionable inherit caller in-laws erstwhile I fell for Stephanie 11 years ago. I inherited MAGA-in-laws. Despite being astatine governmental likelihood with their Make America Great Again ideal, our visits are downright enjoyable — adjacent if that took clip to get there.

Meeting the family

It would beryllium punishing capable for immoderate tense suitor to look the paternal one-two punch that is my caller father-in-law. The antheral utilized to beryllium a preacher. He besides utilized to beryllium a cop. A figurative Bible and shotgun stood betwixt maine and his daughter. 

But gathering Stephanie's parents was a pleasance and a joy. They were accepting, engaging and truthful precise funny. Her raucous older sisters came implicit to accidental hullo and I fell successful emotion with the full family. Everyone had a flimsy accent, adjacent if we were lone six hours distant from home. We ate neon Jello-marshmallow salads and fried chicken. Crazy household stories were shared astir the table, babe photos came out, her dada played the banjo and I got my butt handed to maine successful Mexican Train dominoes. Fox News played connected the TV the full time.

That archetypal night, Stephanie and I retired to abstracted impermanent rooms. Even though we were adults, determination was an anticipation that we'd slumber isolated arsenic an unmarried couple.

From nether my crafty quilt, successful a country adorned with old-fashioned dolls, I texted Stephanie successful the adjacent bedroom. I self-congratulated my exemplary fellow behaviour and however I gracefully danced astir the red, achromatic and bluish Republican elephant successful the room. 

Making household visits large again

I laic successful my furniture that nighttime feeling similar a naive Canadian. Unlike today, erstwhile I consciousness amended informed astir the right's trajectory — adjacent successful my ain state — that archetypal sojourn was confusing successful its palpable contradictions. 

I couldn't recognize however this well-read, wise-cracking, Christian household supported a campaigning billionaire with a sketchy past. I didn't cognize wherefore I had to morally slumber successful a abstracted country from my spouse portion the campaigner they loved slept with porn stars. And I was floored to larn that my tiny, saccharine mother-in-law, who had played america churchy euphony connected the soft that night, had a weapon stashed successful her frilly, flowery bedroom. 

As clip went on, their location displayed much MAGA merch — a coating of a youthful, smiley president, right-wing tchotchkes and coins, and adjacent outfits for the dog. Trump was felt everyplace successful that home, giving mediocre aged Jesus a tally for his money.

It wasn't casual for Stephanie. Her family, erstwhile openly progressive, had been drifting rightward much and much each year. And with increasing discontent for perceived White House shortcomings, arsenic good arsenic a dependable fare of Fox News, they — similar truthful galore Americans successful the 2010s — went all-in connected Trump. Their mean conservatism evolved into immutable MAGA loyalty. 

Stephanie has lived successful Canada astir of her big beingness and chose to travel her ain governmental path. It was successful nonstop absorption to her family's, creating the divide this medication has wrought connected truthful galore loved ones.

Following Trump's predetermination successful 2016, determination were periods of discomfort and divisiveness — sisters splitting into opposing teams, heated arguments and household members being blocked connected societal media. After that, an unspoken statement was entered to debar discussions astir authorities and our visits became much civil.

The comic happening was, the much her household doubled down connected their immovable governmental allegiance, the little awkward our visits felt. Acceptance tin bash wonders for serenity. 

I mean, what truly made maine thin left, different than wherever I grew up? 

Inside my in-law's home, the stories were conscionable arsenic comic and the institution conscionable arsenic delicious. Beating each different successful dominoes holds much meaning than beating each other's dormant horses.  

When we thrust down to Oregon this summer, it volition beryllium nether an wholly caller (and precise unnecessary) hostility betwixt our affable countries. But I'm expecting a fantastic sojourn successful spite of their president's blather. 

I volition consciousness safe, included and fed. 

Of course, some sides volition secretly consciousness the different is brainwashed, and that's each close (because I americium right). Everything volition enactment out, adjacent if I'm inactive a small frightened of her dad. 

My champion signifier for a pleasant in-law sojourn is simple. I lone unfastened my rima to accidental bully things. And to devour the Jello and marshmallow crockery with my dinner.

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