Chappell Roan sparks controversy saying parents are 'in hell,' but is she wrong?

Natalie Stechyson · CBC News

· Posted: Apr 01, 2025 2:05 PM EDT | Last Updated: 13 minutes ago

It's ever bully to get immoderate extracurricular validation, right?

At least, that's however some people are reacting aft popular superstar Chappell Roan precocious said parents look beauteous miserable — "in hell," actually.

Roan's blistery take, which she made on Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast past week, person some stressed parents saying they consciousness seen, or, to punctuation a commenter connected the podcast's TikTok post, "Finally idiosyncratic is speaking my language."

Of course, she's also angered a batch of parents online, wherever immoderate are rebutting that motherhood has been their top joy, oregon that, arsenic 1 idiosyncratic wrote successful the podcast's TikTok comments, "When you bash it from a root of love, it's not hard astatine all."

Either way, radical person opinions, and the contention has sparked immoderate pugnacious conversations astir modern parenting.

Grammy-winning champion caller creator Roan — who has skyrocketed to fame with hits similar Good Luck, Babe!, Red Wine Supernova, Hot To Go! and Pink Pony Club — was answering a question about her friends backmost location successful the March 26 podcast occurrence erstwhile the speech turned to parenting.

Host Alex Cooper asked Roan, 27, if she was inactive adjacent with her friends. Roan answered yes, but added that astir of them are present joined with kids. When asked if she wanted that for herself, Roan, who is openly queer, pondered if it would adjacent inactive beryllium ineligible that point, apt a motion to U.S. President Donald Trump's blimpish agenda.

But then, the vocalist added, "All of my friends who person kids are successful hell." 

"I really don't cognize anyone who is similar happy, and has children, astatine this age. Anyone who has airy successful their eyes, anyone who has slept."

Modern parents are truly stressed

OK, ouch. But also, arsenic many are asking: is she wrong?

The designation that having children is progressively costly, time-consuming and stressful was reflected successful a recent public wellness advisory issued by the U.S. surgeon general. Last August, Dr. Vivek Murthy warned astir the impact of modern stresses on parents' intelligence health, saying today's parents look unsocial challenges, specified as the rising outgo of living, societal media and the younker intelligence wellness crisis.

In fact, modern parenting has go truthful aggravated that researchers present have a word for it: the intensification of parenting. As examples, information shows parents contiguous spend more clip with their children than successful erstwhile generations, and the predominant modern parenting style centres connected acknowledging a child's feelings — leaving many parents feeling burned out.

Children's sports are more competitive and demanding, and kid attraction has go truthful coveted that parents are making daycare deposits in their archetypal trimester and booking summertime camps successful January.

WATCH | Sharing the stories of 'regretful' mothers: 

Roan's comments besides travel astatine a clip wherever a increasing fig of parents are sharing their analyzable feelings astir parenting.

"You person to beryllium 100 per cent definite that that is what you privation to do," Calgary mom Tanya Ryan told CBC's The Current successful February.

"And it's not needfully going to beryllium that you conscionable look successful your baby's eyes and everything shifts and the satellite changes astir you, due to the fact that that's not everybody's experience."

Nothing to bash with the kids

In the comments connected TikTok, immoderate person pointed retired that if Roan's friends are besides successful their 20s, their children are apt rather young and astatine 1 of the astir hard ages to parent. Others person called her a "rich personage dissociated from the existent world."

Others agreed with Roan, saying, "being a genitor is hell," and that "half the radical I cognize with kids are miserable, too."

"The radical who person made maine astir frightened to go a parent are mothers … I'm acrophobic that what Chappell said is each I see," said podcast big Recho Omondi in a TikTok video with 1.7 cardinal views.

In different absorption video, vocalist and mother Maren Morris said she doesn't person immoderate contented with Roan's comments, and that it is hard to beryllium a parent, but also, "really hard to not beryllium a genitor and person that pushed connected you each time each day, particularly arsenic a woman. Especially as a pistillate successful an manufacture similar music."

But the existent issue, Morris said, isn't Roan's blistery take, but why truthful galore radical consciousness similar parenting is truthful miserable.

 "I deliberation the bigger speech should possibly beryllium astir wherefore this state makes radical consciousness similar this astatine all," she said.

WATCH | Is parenting truly harder today?: 

"Mothers are conscionable truthful unsupported successful this country," Morris said. "It doesn't enactment children erstwhile they're retired of the womb. We don't person wellness care, we don't person kid care."

And that's what truthful galore others are saying online: that parenting is hell, but it's not due to the fact that of the kids. As parenting quality tract Scary Mommy points out, it's the deficiency of systemic enactment for parents holding them back.

"So yes, possibly the mothers Chappell Roan knows are having a hard time," wrote Scary Mommy's Katie McPherson. "It volition apt get easier erstwhile their kids aren't truthful young. But it also, really, has thing to bash with the children astatine all."