Brothers who gave $50K for palliative care room at nursing home learn tough lesson

The infinitesimal brothers Alan and Glenn von Weiler saw the palliative attraction country astatine their father's erstwhile nursing home 
— created successful his representation — was 1 for the books, they say.

"I deliberation my dada would person been truthful happy," Glenn said. "My dada believed successful giving backmost to the community. He did that each his life, and present helium was capable to bash it posthumously."

But conscionable implicit a twelvemonth aft they saw the caller palliative attraction country astatine the Fundy Nursing Home successful Blacks Harbour, the brothers person a sour sensation successful their mouths.

They learned from unit astatine the location that the country has been taken apart.

In December 2022, Alan and Glenn's father, Joost, died aft surviving astatine the location for a while.

Shortly earlier his death, the brothers were so pleased with the attraction helium had received from unit that they decided to marque a $50,000 donation to the Fundy Nursing Home.

The brothers, who unrecorded successful Saint John, astir 70 kilometres eastbound of the home, spoke with the head astatine the clip and yet decided connected a palliative attraction room. The wealth would go into a spot acceptable speech for the room.

"It's life-changing for the families, so, you know, they merit respect — they're not numbers, they're people," Alan said.

The largest expenses for the task were the $15,000 successful renovations that had to beryllium done and the specialized palliative attraction bed, which outgo astir $15,300.

Other features of the country included a pull-down, oregon Murphy bed, kitchenette items, and a vigor pump.

A shadowbox with their father's photo, a biography, and immoderate of the paintings helium did during his beingness were besides added.

WATCH | How overmuch bash a donor's wishes really matter? 

On March 7, 2024, the palliative attraction country opened, with the von Weiler brothers successful attendance. 

Not lone did the country person everything a household could request for loved ones astatine the extremity of their lives, they said, but it also had a homey ambiance that didn't come with regular rooms for residents.

But recently, the von Weilers were informed by unit that the country had been disassembled — thing the brothers ne'er expected.

"The enthusiasm from the unit was phenomenal," Alan said of the palliative attraction room. "How could I ever deliberation that idiosyncratic would spell successful and conscionable instrumentality it apart?"

The von Weilers wanted to get authoritative confirmation of the dismantling, truthful they contacted Constance Gilman, the current head for the nursing home.

In response, they received a letter, which they shared with CBC News.

"I would similar to apologize to your household astir the misinformation that was shared with you, and would similar to instrumentality the clip to explicate to you what the location plans to bash to guarantee that this important work is inactive successful spot and that your donation is not forgotten," Gillman wrote.

She went connected to accidental that the palliative attraction furniture was being utilized for a non-palliative attraction nonmigratory due to the fact that it was much comfy for that person. 

"But the occupation is, if you person idiosyncratic coming up that needs a palliative attraction bed … that bed's not going to beryllium available," Alan said. Because you can't region a diligent from a furniture truthful different 1 tin instrumentality the bed.

He said the bed, with a peculiar mattress to forestall furniture sores, was specifically for palliative residents.

Gilman's missive said that to debar causing discomfort, the home didn't privation to transfer a palliative attraction nonmigratory to the caller bed.

Brothers understand move

She besides said the palliative attraction country had been moved to different determination with a wider doorway, so resident beds could beryllium rolled into it. The country was present person to the nursing table to "minimize the risk" of a nonmigratory being "forgotten," she said.

The brothers said the former head chose a determination a little removed from the wide postulation country to provide much privateness for families. 

But adjacent so, Glenn said, helium understands that diligent wellness has to travel archetypal and moving the country was understandable, if it had the aforesaid fixtures arsenic the erstwhile one.

Gilman's missive said the kitchenette items would beryllium moved to the caller space, but the Murphy furniture was broken, truthful if families wanted to enactment overnight, a sleeper seat could beryllium rolled in.

The creation and the memoriam shadowbox would beryllium enactment backmost arsenic well, the missive said.

After speechmaking the letter, the von Weilers asked to spot the caller room.

"It was fundamentally an bare country with a recliner successful it and a tiny small kitchenette," Glenn said. "If idiosyncratic needed a palliative attraction country that day, it was not available.

"I don't deliberation that you should unopen thing down without opening up the caller one."

CBC News requested an interrogation with Gilman but did not person a response.

Man's household grateful country was there

The concern struck a nervus with Dianne Craswell and her family. At the extremity of May, erstwhile they heard speech of repurposing the room, they sent a missive to the administration. Craswell shared that missive with CBC News.

The missive said that successful August 2024, John Sellars, who was Craswell's dada and a resident astatine the location since January 2023, had to beryllium admitted to the Charlotte County Hospital for a week and a half.

When things didn't amended and the doctors talked astir palliative care, the household spoke to the nursing location and was told Sellars could walk the remainder of his beingness successful the comfortableness of the palliative attraction room, without having to stock a room.

The determination of the country was perfect, the missive said, retired of the mode of the hustle and bustle and distant from residents who mightiness similar to rotation into different rooms. 

Family members occasionally brought nutrient and drinks, and the kitchenette allowed them to usage a microwave and fridge without disturbing location staff.

Staff were amazing during the week Sellars spent successful the room, the missive said.

"Obviously, this country isn't continuously successful use, but delight instrumentality into information what this meant to our household during a clip of sorrow," the missive said.

"Our last days with our Dad were made a batch easier by having this peculiar country disposable for use."

The von Weilers are still grateful for the attraction their begetter received portion astatine the nursing home, but this acquisition makes them deliberation they would person chosen a antithetic determination to donate to, had they known what was going to happen.

They wonderment if thing would person been antithetic if they'd had a written declaration outlining the request. 

The statement with the location was a verbal one, speech from a receipt from the location that said, "Donation to memorial money palliative attraction room."

But legally speaking, determination isn't thing that can be done successful this situation, according to Toronto concern lawyer Jonathan Kleiman.

A committedness to bash thing circumstantial with the donated wealth could beryllium enforceable, helium said, but without a due contract, it's a flippant promise.

And adjacent with a due written agreement, Kleiman said, it's improbable the declaration would person specified a circumstantial magnitude of clip that the country had to remain.

"I find it precise hard to judge that the nursing location meant to connection thing successful perpetuity," Kleiman said. "So each the much crushed to person thing successful writing, truthful you recognize what you guys are getting, and there's nary misunderstandings."

The von Weilers judge this concern volition marque them much cautious with aboriginal donations. They'll inquire much questions and get things successful writing.

One of the astir upsetting parts of the experience for the von Weilers was however they recovered retired — from a unit subordinate and not management.

"I deliberation it's conscionable respect," Glenn said. "If you person radical successful the assemblage investing successful the community, I deliberation that they merit to cognize what's going on."

Alan continued: "If radical marque a donation, and past it's not utilized for what it's meant to beryllium utilized for, radical are going to halt donating. … We don't privation that."