As a 21-year-old woman who stands 6'4", I'm still learning to hold my head high

Olivia McGahern · for CBC First Person

· Posted: Jun 14, 2025 4:00 AM EDT | Last Updated: 10 minutes ago

This First Person file is written by Olivia McGahern, who lives successful Caledon, Ont. For much accusation astir First Person stories, spot the FAQ.

When I spot radical walking down the street, I ideate they're worrying astir arriving astatine enactment connected time, an upcoming day oregon what they'll navigator that nighttime for dinner.

When I locomotion down the street, whether I'm going to school, enactment oregon the gym, I interest what radical are reasoning astir maine arsenic I operation implicit them.

My mean teenage anxiousness astir my looks was made worse by the information that I stood out, literally. Today, arsenic a 21-year-old pistillate who is six feet, 4 inches tall, I americium inactive increasing into my confidence.

I've ever felt self-conscious astir my height, though I travel from a gangly family. My ma stands six feet gangly and my dada is six-foot-two.

My brothers are gangly too, but from adolescence into adulthood, they received thing but praise from family, friends and strangers astir their stature. "You won't person immoderate problems uncovering a girlfriend," radical would accidental to them, portion I was told,"You'll person occupation uncovering apparel and shoes." Absolutely nary notation of uncovering a prospective partner.

I wasn't yet a teen erstwhile I started to bargain gangly apparel from Old Navy. That's erstwhile my insecurity began. Stores similar Garage and Lululemon aren't made for girls similar me.

In precocious school, I realized however overmuch I stood retired — and I didn't privation to.  wanted to consciousness pretty, person my archetypal kiss, formal successful cute apparel and spell connected dates. That ne'er happened, and I used my tallness arsenic a scapegoat.

At 16, I saw an endocrinologist. I had started my play erstwhile I was 13, but I was inactive growing, which wasn't normal; according to Healthline, girls typically halt increasing astir 2 years aft they statesman menstruating. The doc ordered an MRI for my encephalon and a CT scan for my adrenals, speculating I had a pituitary issue, which could beryllium down my continued growth. Both the tests came backmost normal.

This was bully quality successful a aesculapian sense, but the results were inactive crushing. This is conscionable the mode I am.

My ma told maine she went done the aforesaid happening astatine my age, but that didn't truly console me.  I hated however overmuch taller I americium compared to different girls and guys.

I'm conscionable similar immoderate woman

Eventually, I tried to judge that it was pointless to fixate connected thing I couldn't change, but the comments continued.

How gangly are you? Are your parents tall?

Even astatine my erstwhile occupation astatine a McDonald's, cleanable strangers would inquire if I play hoops arsenic I handed implicit an bid of fries. When I told them that I've ne'er liked sports, I heard their opinions connected that, excessively — everything from "That's weird" to "You're wasting your life."

When dabbling with dating apps, I've been bombarded with disgusting remarks: "Can we marque NBA babies?" oregon "I privation to ascent you," or "Step connected me."

I deleted the apps, vowing to conscionable fto emotion travel to maine without effort, but I've come back to them, albeit with much caution. I person nary intentions of uncovering my psyche mate oregon thing similar that — but astatine the precise slightest I privation immoderate semblance of a dating life, arsenic different women do.

WATCH | Young radical seeking authentic connections: 

With each interaction, my self-esteem plummets and my anxiousness and slump skyrocket. I know there's small that I tin bash to debar the changeless inquisition. 

Am I ever going to autumn successful emotion and beryllium loved back? The much I ponder it, the much despair I feel. I person truthful overmuch emotion to give, but it feels similar cipher tin look past my height.

Despite each this, I person galore reasons to clasp my caput high. 

I person a household that loves me, friends that bash thing but assistance maine up, and online communities of gangly women who amusement maine that it's imaginable to find emotion and beryllium assured successful themselves. I'm learning to ain my tallness and bask going connected dates oregon to bars without feeling the request to blend successful oregon fell from the world.

It gives maine anticipation that, contempt however severely I consciousness connected the inside, nary substance however intimidating I deliberation I seem, I'm conscionable similar each different woman.

Being successful therapy has besides helped. My therapist has emboldened maine to deterioration agleam colours oregon formal successful fancy outfits conscionable to spell shopping. It means I person nary prime but to basal retired — and it's helping maine get comfy with it.

It volition instrumentality time. I've been burdened by my tallness insecurity for truthful galore years, and assurance doesn't footwear successful overnight. But alternatively of blaming my tallness for my deficiency of achievements successful life, I americium learning to clasp it — and hoping that volition bring maine the beingness and emotion I've ever wanted.

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